Personally, I prefer the Finish over the Start. Almost every time. In track, nothing is worse than the wormy, squishy feeling on your insides when you're pretty much upside-down on those blocks and you know the man with the gun in his hand is about to set it all off and you're like, "Oh, shit, I forgot to pee!" or something like that but it's way too late now and you're going to have to run this whole thing with that on your mind and it's going to suck reeeal bad... But the end is glorious! Not only is it relief, it's triumph! Accomplishment! Success!
And so, I've come to realize that a lot of times things are going to suck reeeal bad before they get better. But it's because of the Suck Process that things do get better! I know that the start is going to almost always be uncomfortable or unpleasant, but the feeling of accomplishment afterwards makes the world beautiful.
I've noticed that there hasn't really been a lot of that in my life, probably even since high school track. I've reached the Now What point, and I'm doing a kind of flail-dance. Well, I'm going to go ahead and do some self-therapy and put my English degree to good use! (hahahah. that's funny.) I'm putting my thoughts, my hopes, and my secrets out in the universe, with almost no expectations other than finally just writing, something that I have always loved but for no known reason has terrified me thus far.
I'm going to dominate that fear. I'm going to cross that finish line and relish this seemingly tiny accomplishment. It's one thing that I can cross off of my Life To-Do List.
So, here we go! Wish me luck.
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